You know that ubiquitous saying, “Feel the fear and do it anyway”?
Well, once upon a time, I started a podcast despite being so scared to do it. I remember being crazy nervous every time I recorded an episode. I would sit behind the mic, my voice shaking, and the heart beating so hard that I was sure the mic would pick it up. Honestly, I don’t know why I kept at it. I dreaded doing it! But week after week, I got myself behind the mic and hit record.
A few months ago, I put that podcast (Second Breaks) on pause. I had been feeling like the days were flying by me. It seemed as if I was simply jumping from one activity to the next, and I felt the strong urge to revisit everything on my plate.
The funny thing (or sad thing, depending on how one looks at it) was that everything on the plate was by choice. If it was on the docket, it was there because I chose it to be there. But because I had packed it so tightly, I wasn’t even enjoying what I chose to do. How sad was that?!
So, earlier this year, I figured I needed to revisit everything, re-prioritize, and put some things on the back burner.
Surprise, surprise. That was not an easy task!
I ended up butting up against some underlying narratives, deep in my psyche, that said things like I was copping out, or I was admitting I couldn’t manage, or that I should be able to manage it all, etc. These years of conditioning are so hard to get past or reverse!
But even though the exercise felt uncomfortable, I stuck to it because it was important. I wanted to gain some space — to breathe, experience, and, more importantly, remember these moments and these experiences.
And to do these things, I realized I needed to slow down. I needed to create space by moving certain things off the plate or at least de-prioritizing them. I needed to differentiate the big rocks from the pebbles and the sand.
Lots of work. Still going on, actually. (It’s not like I’ve transformed myself into someone else overnight.) I often have to fight the reflex to overcommit and pile on. Again, this is an internal story that needs to be squashed — the one that says I have to do lots of things to be “worth” something. (sigh)
Pausing Second Breaks for a few months ended up being the right move. That pause gave me the time to really consider what this podcast meant to me. I asked myself if I even wanted to continue it — and if I did, in what form and for what purpose. I wanted to be intentional about this project; I didn’t want to simply continue out of habit or inertia.
Wouldn’t you know it, the once scary thing has become something I quite enjoy and actually missed doing. It just goes to show that with practice, over time, most things will get easier. You might even learn to enjoy it!
Yes, I’m continuing with the podcast, with a new season starting in January 2025. But there will be some changes and closer alignment with We’re All Getting Older (which is THE big rock)!
When you listen to the episode, you’ll hear about the plans, how I’m attempting to make good on my goal to keep creating space so I can enjoy my chosen activities, and what you can expect going forward!
Cool Beans,
Lou Blaser
P.S. I know my story might look different from yours, but I imagine the struggle to balance priorities and quiet those inner doubts is something many of us face. What’s your version of this story?
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