It would be a safe bet that you’ve had at least one major life transition under your belt. A big career pivot, marriage, or divorce. Maybe you recently became an empty nester. Or maybe, like me, you bid sayonara to your long career and set sail toward uncharted waters.
One of the trickiest parts of a significant life change is figuring out what’s next. Not just in a logistical, “How do I make this work?” way, but in a deeper, “Who am I now?” kinda way.
That’s exactly what Matthew Long faced when he retired from a 24-year career in the Navy. He knew he wanted a clean break from the military. He was staring at the open seas, which was, on the one hand, exciting. But on the other? A little daunting.
So Matthew did something fascinating: He worked with a coach to create a blueprint for his civilian life. Over six months, through guided questions and reflections, he developed a visual map of what truly matters to him — his values, passions, and priorities. Today, that blueprint literally hangs on his wall, helping him make decisions every day and take actions that align with who he really is.
I found Matthew’s approach so compelling because he didn’t immediately focus on the goals. Instead, he got clear about what he actually wanted his next chapter to look like.
Too often, we drift into the next thing simply because it’s familiar. Matthew saw retired military men take on civilian contractor roles on base, not necessarily because they wanted to, but because it was the obvious path.
I’ve had my own version of this, where I flailed for a while — for a long while, actually. In my case, it wasn’t so much taking on safer or familiar choices. Rather, it was taking on so many different things because I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I don’t regret trying on different hats to see what fits. I just wish I’d had a clearer map — a blueprint of my own — to help me choose which hats were worth the time and effort in the first place.
In my conversation with Matthew, we talked about:
The challenges of transitioning from a structured career to an open-ended future
How Matthew approached his retirement beyond just the financial side
The blueprint process he used to get clear on his next steps
Changes in family dynamics and household roles post-retirement
How Matthew is putting his blueprint into action and what his next chapter looks like
Matthew’s civilian life is all about being a reader, a writer, and spending a lot of time with his dog, Lola. He resides in Tennessee with Jannette, his wife of 22 years, and their 17-year-old daughter, while their eldest son is off to college.
If you’re in a season of change (or even just thinking about one), I think you’ll find this conversation inspiring.
What do you think? Have you ever taken the time to map out what truly matters to you? Drop a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear about it.
Guest Links:
Matthew’s publication on Substack: Beyond The Bookshelf
Matthew’s email: matthewbeyondthebookshelf@gmail.com
Mentioned:
The Aleph and Other Stories by Jorge Luis Borges
Cool Beans,
Lou Blaser
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