A short while ago, I found myself stuck on a word: Delight.
It’s one of those slippery words we often lump in with joy, happiness, or fun and treat it like a cousin in the same emotional family. But I started wondering if delight deserves a more specific seat at the table.
Delight feels different. It feels smaller, but more electric. Fleeting, yet more vivid.
As they say, the universe delivers. One of my favorite writers on Substack, Alexander Lovell, PhD , came out with this piece, “Delight, A Radical Invitation”, and I said to myself, “I have to have him over to chat about this!”
And I’m so glad I did.
Our conversation was wide-ranging in the best way. We talked about how delight differs from joy and happiness (turns out, they’re not interchangeable). We talked about how the body stores emotion, even when our minds insist we’re fine. And we talked about how slowing down doesn’t have to be a lifestyle overhaul. Sometimes it’s just noticing what’s right in front of you.
Some of my favorite threads from our chat:
1. The Nuance of Emotions
Language can flatten emotion. As we get older, we lose precision. We stop naming what we feel and start reaching for umbrella terms. But delight isn’t just joy-lite. It’s spark-like. A flicker of something that invites us to feel more than one thing at once.
2. Presence Isn’t Just About the Present
Alex offered a generous reframe of “being present” that goes beyond mindfulness scripts. He spoke of bringing presence to memory. Of how even grief can become a portal to joy when you let yourself fully feel a moment from the past.
3. Slowing Down Through Noticing
A lot of people are saying they’d want to slow down, but it can feel vague or out of reach. Alex made a lovely point: if slowing down feels hard, focus on noticing. Noticing naturally slows you down. It’s a gateway and a more accessible one for those of us still on the hamster wheel.
4. Burnout, Control, and Energy as Currency
Late in the conversation, we landed on burnout. Alex reframed it as an issue of energy mismanagement. Not just doing too much, but trying to control what can’t be controlled. You can’t reach for delight when your tank is empty and yet many of us are spending that tank on over-managing everything. (Guilty.)
5. Bittersweetness as a Legitimate Flavor of Joy
This may have been my favorite thread. We talked about how joy and grief can coexist. That a memory can make you smile and ache at the same time. And that this is not a flaw in the system, but a part of the deal. Bittersweetness is a legitimate flavor of joy.
• • •
One thing I walked away with from this chat is that delight doesn’t demand a big gesture. But it does require something from us. It asks us to notice. And that, honestly, might be the hard part.
Because noticing means slowing down. Which means interrupting our default mode — the rushing about, the scrolling, the productivity loop. Noticing isn’t passive. It’s a skill. And like any skill, it needs practice. The good news is that life keeps offering us material.
• • •
Guest Links:
Alex Lovell’s publication on Substack: Life As I See It
Mentioned:
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
The Book of Delights by Ross Gay
• • •
✴️ Let’s practice noticing together. What’s something small that sparked delight for you recently?
Everything is fine,
Lou Blaser
