What a timely post. I set aside a book this morning that just was not doing it for me. I used to think I had to finish every book I started but no longer! It is freeing to know I can walk away from something that is not enjoyable and find better uses for my time.
I restacked my favorite quote, "We must definitely do a better job marking and celebrating our progress, not just the big reward."
And hells yeah to quitting books, movies, series, whatever entertainment that no longer captivates our time. Once, I stopped reading halfway through a book. 😂😭 It happens.
But I've heard this explained via Seth Godin about how we sink so much time into a project or whatever that to our minds it makes more sense to finish it or see it through, like a relationship we're no longer happy in. Yup, it's a toughie, when to stick it through or walk away.
Thanks so much for the restack Lani! Yeah - that whole "sunk-cost-fallacy" thing holds us back from quitting or cutting our losses. We think we've invested so much time on something already, quitting would be like throwing all that away.
Not only was I taught to finish everything I started, but I also taught others to do that … At mid-life, I realized that “perseverance” is an over used and over praised word.
BTW, these days I am quitting more books than finishing lol.
Hah. I thought I was the only one. The ratio of books finished vs books abandoned is definitely not "ideal" right now. But I've begun to embrace the idea that I don't need to finish the book to get what I need to get out of it. I think I got that from Ryan Holiday.
I agree with Matthews sentiments, and at this stage (51), I've finally decided to shed that company that's kept me away from my dear Bride (always traveling), get hired by a company to stay closer to home with less travel (and more $), pursue that Master's degree, finish some projects (not all), and make more time to be with the love of my life...
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." - George Elliott
Thanks for sharing your excellent thoughts here, Lou. In my family, my parents really hammered home the concept of finishing what you start, and it always felt like so much pressure. It eventually made me afraid to start anything, and that carried over into early adulthood when I became very risk-averse. Before I began anything, my first thought was always, "What's the point if I can't finish it?" It was awful. The last couple of years, I've been learning to make my peace with letting things go and not always finishing when it's not right for me or it's not the right time. It's allowed me to try new things with so much more freedom and joy than before, without that fear of failure. The ability to try and drop new things has also helped me see more clearly what truly thrills my soul and to hone in on those things. I love your post and the additional validation I got from it!
I think our parents were related 😊 or at least went to the same parenting school! The idea of experimenting "just to see if I liked it" would be seen as a waste of time or a lack of commitment. Things we've had to unlearn, right? Thank you so much for reading and sharing your experiences, Tiffany.
Yep, that's the key. I think we sometimes we fall into the habit or reflex of "keeping on" even if it no longer serves us, and we need a kind of pattern interrupt to pause and think if we should. Thanks for your comment Paul!
What a timely post. I set aside a book this morning that just was not doing it for me. I used to think I had to finish every book I started but no longer! It is freeing to know I can walk away from something that is not enjoyable and find better uses for my time.
Ahhh, these "rules" we were taught once upon a time. Isn't it so liberating to break some and say, "Nope that doesn't apply anymore!" 🤓
I restacked my favorite quote, "We must definitely do a better job marking and celebrating our progress, not just the big reward."
And hells yeah to quitting books, movies, series, whatever entertainment that no longer captivates our time. Once, I stopped reading halfway through a book. 😂😭 It happens.
But I've heard this explained via Seth Godin about how we sink so much time into a project or whatever that to our minds it makes more sense to finish it or see it through, like a relationship we're no longer happy in. Yup, it's a toughie, when to stick it through or walk away.
Thanks so much for the restack Lani! Yeah - that whole "sunk-cost-fallacy" thing holds us back from quitting or cutting our losses. We think we've invested so much time on something already, quitting would be like throwing all that away.
Exactly.
Thank you for this. I think the number of things we start and don’t finish makes the victory sweeter for the things we do finish.
I didn't think of that angle but that's so true!
Not only was I taught to finish everything I started, but I also taught others to do that … At mid-life, I realized that “perseverance” is an over used and over praised word.
BTW, these days I am quitting more books than finishing lol.
Hah. I thought I was the only one. The ratio of books finished vs books abandoned is definitely not "ideal" right now. But I've begun to embrace the idea that I don't need to finish the book to get what I need to get out of it. I think I got that from Ryan Holiday.
A great reminder to be intentional about how we spend our most precious resource of time. Thank you!
You bet Jacob. Glad this landed for you!.
I agree with Matthews sentiments, and at this stage (51), I've finally decided to shed that company that's kept me away from my dear Bride (always traveling), get hired by a company to stay closer to home with less travel (and more $), pursue that Master's degree, finish some projects (not all), and make more time to be with the love of my life...
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." - George Elliott
Hooray to your decisions and all the best on all these new adventures. 🙌
Great to hear Jerry! I am sure you and your wife will be happy with the life change. I wish you both all the best on your adventures.
Thanks for sharing your excellent thoughts here, Lou. In my family, my parents really hammered home the concept of finishing what you start, and it always felt like so much pressure. It eventually made me afraid to start anything, and that carried over into early adulthood when I became very risk-averse. Before I began anything, my first thought was always, "What's the point if I can't finish it?" It was awful. The last couple of years, I've been learning to make my peace with letting things go and not always finishing when it's not right for me or it's not the right time. It's allowed me to try new things with so much more freedom and joy than before, without that fear of failure. The ability to try and drop new things has also helped me see more clearly what truly thrills my soul and to hone in on those things. I love your post and the additional validation I got from it!
I think our parents were related 😊 or at least went to the same parenting school! The idea of experimenting "just to see if I liked it" would be seen as a waste of time or a lack of commitment. Things we've had to unlearn, right? Thank you so much for reading and sharing your experiences, Tiffany.
You're so right. It's tough to know when you should quit vs. carrying on, especially with the big stuff.
Thing is, if I actually take the time to think it through I typically make a decision I'm happy with. The key is to think it through.
Yep, that's the key. I think we sometimes we fall into the habit or reflex of "keeping on" even if it no longer serves us, and we need a kind of pattern interrupt to pause and think if we should. Thanks for your comment Paul!