100. Must you finish that?
it's not always the best answer, you know.
Hello. I’m Lou Blaser, and you’re reading We’re All Getting Older, a newsletter about getting better and living our best selves in midlife.
My dear reader friend,
I’d make a (safe) bet that you were taught — just like I was — that follow-through is an important skill to have.
“Finish what you started,” people told us often. Persistence pays off. And we're shown hundreds of examples of persevering people getting the rewards for their efforts.
“I have not failed 10,000 times. I've successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work," so said Thomas Edison.
Yes. And.
Finishing isn't always the right answer, though. Sometimes, walking away is. And finishing, for the sake of finishing, makes no sense at all.
Scroll through your social media of choice, and you’ll often find celebratory posts of people finishing what they started and getting to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Or, maybe they haven’t reached the gold yet. But they’re on their way, and they’re celebrating the milestones with us.
I’m for all that. We must definitely do a better job marking and celebrating our progress, not just the big reward.
Yes. And.
We don't often hear stories of abandoned quests. Of people trying to find answers and never finding one. Or of people learning something else in the process that led them to other questions to solve. There is no shame in quitting.
Did you hear about Vontae Davis? When he walked off the field at halftime, it wasn’t to huddle with his teammates. The Buffalo Bills cornerback quit football entirely at that moment.
Davis didn’t wait until the end of the game, let alone the season. He retired from the N.F.L. in the middle of the game. Later, he said, “Today on the field, reality hit me hard and fast: I shouldn’t be out there anymore.”
There's something called the Millenium Prize Problems, which consists of six mathematical problems (originally seven) identified by the Clay Mathematics Institute. Each has a $1M award for a provable solution.
Why the huge reward? Because these are six mathematical problems that are deemed too difficult (maybe impossible) to solve. Thousands of mathematicians have tried over decades, a century even.
I once read somewhere (and I can't remember where anymore) that follow-through is important when we know there's a clear answer in the end. In those cases, we follow through all the way and aim to finish. Completing that marathon comes to mind.
But when the existence of one answer is unclear? Finishing something, seeing “it” through to the end, has to be a personal, intentional choice.
Bottom Line
It's always been about choices — about how we want to spend our time, which rabbit holes to fall into, which quests to abandon, and which ones to hold and stay on.
In midlife, intentional choices are even more crucial. Because, let's face it: in our hourglass of life, the bottom chamber is filling fast. And we must choose — more than ever — where and how we want to persist.
🏷 A Fulfilling Life
💭 muse
“The coherence between your values and your diary is where integrity begins.” — Conor Neill
🚪 backstage
INTRODUCING: THE BACKSTAGE PASS
Changes afoot!
I will be sharing behind the scenes of my work/life here on WAGO. We’re talking about tools and Notion templates I use, my book notes, and my quarterly and annual review processes, to start with. “Why hoard these things” is my mantra these days! Oh, and this is in addition to the series I’ve already started about launching a new career in midlife. 😊
The Backstage Pass will be available to paying subscribers. I will include links to all new materials in the Sunday WAGO editions. You can also bookmark the Backstage hub here, where you’ll see everything that’s been published and what’s upcoming.
I hope you’ll join me backstage by upgrading your subscription today for an annual cost of one hardbound book a year. (This will likely change soon.)
The Sunday WAGO editions will continue to be available to everyone.
👤 a midlifer in profile
has been a typical hard-nosed businessman chasing success, status, and money. That is, until 2008 when he began to discover a new and more interesting side of himself.Check out Mo’s profile ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️
🍹 reader shout-out
A huge shout-out to WAGO reader Yvonne Marchese, age agitator, author, and founder of The Age Agitators Club. This community brings together women committed to busting through their midlife funk to inspire, support, share our stories, and reimagine what’s possible as we grow older. Learn more about The Age Agitators Club.
💬 last word
One small thing I’ve gotten used to quitting and not finishing: books!
I used to feel guilty about this and would read on even if it was a slog. Nowadays, if it’s not doing it for me after a dozen pages, I’m out. There are way too many books I want to read for me to struggle through one.
This leads me to the question: What book are you reading right now? Are you loving it?
Here’s to an easeful week ahead.
Cool Beans,
Lou Blaser
What a timely post. I set aside a book this morning that just was not doing it for me. I used to think I had to finish every book I started but no longer! It is freeing to know I can walk away from something that is not enjoyable and find better uses for my time.
I restacked my favorite quote, "We must definitely do a better job marking and celebrating our progress, not just the big reward."
And hells yeah to quitting books, movies, series, whatever entertainment that no longer captivates our time. Once, I stopped reading halfway through a book. 😂😭 It happens.
But I've heard this explained via Seth Godin about how we sink so much time into a project or whatever that to our minds it makes more sense to finish it or see it through, like a relationship we're no longer happy in. Yup, it's a toughie, when to stick it through or walk away.