Hi Lou. My first response to your question was that I prefer to start out alone. Until I remembered that one of my most successful adventures, the creation of my business, I did with partners. I had always preferred to work alone. My two partners preferred to work collaboratively. I was the visionary and the innovator in the group, and often worked on my ideas for awhile before I brought them to my partners. They would tinker. I would resist. Until it dawned on me, that they were actually making the ideas better. So I started bringing them earlier, before I got attached. That was when the collaboration really began to take flight.
I hear you. I don't know if you feel like this, but I often feel like I want (need?) to polish the idea before I share it with the team. I'm envious of people who can share truly rough ideas. How did you get over the resistance?
LOL. I'm not sure I ever fully got over it. But I paid attention over time to how much better my ideas became when I shared them with others and let go of defending them. The real enemy here is attachment. As long as I could stay unattached to things having to look exactly as I envisioned them, then I could open up to new and better ideas. It's tricky, because you have to understand what is core to your idea and be prepared to ensure that doesn't get compromised, while being completely open to the details.
I’m definitely a loner at least initially. Also I’m a pioneer so usually out front, but with close people right behind me. So I feel supported. Great question!
I prefer to start on my own, usually to see what I do know and what I don't. That being said, the older I get the more I realize that learning from someone has immense value both from a knowledge and task perspective but also from learning another's perspective.
Hi Bonita! We have a very similar approach. When I left corporate, I jumped into all sorts of "new things" and initially tried to do it all on my own - doing my own research, YouTube, etc. In hindsight, I would have learned much faster - and managed my frustrations better - had I sought help (like from a coach) sooner.
I usually start something new alone but have been fortunate to find others also starting out who become a support team. I started training to walk my first half-marathon 7 years ago and made two friends in the newbie group I joined that I’m happy to say are STILL my friends and walking buddies. Same w pickleball- just joined a beginners group 2 years ago by myself and connected w new people at the same stage of learning that became a new group of friends.
Yes, we were beginners at something together, and bonded over both our “newness” and need to learn and the desire we had to learn. Sometimes with friends who try something new together, we don’t have the same desire to “do the thing” and so some might drop out- which might make us drop out, too?
Hiya Nancy! You're finally here! 🤗 I'm still working out the rhythm, but the plan is to have our Lounge Chats every two weeks - one going out on Sundays and the other on Thursdays. I'm like you; I tend to go it alone, but the few times I've joined a group, it's helped keep my energy and motivation up.
Happy Sunday 👋🏽 Ideally, I would like to start something new with a close friend but with everyone having different and shifting priorities at any given time, I’ve found that joining a group helps maintain my energy and consistency.
Hi Anne! I hear ya! I'm not usually a joiner of things, but when I have done, nothing beats that group energy! How do you do with "challenges"? Too much pressure?
Hi Lou. My first response to your question was that I prefer to start out alone. Until I remembered that one of my most successful adventures, the creation of my business, I did with partners. I had always preferred to work alone. My two partners preferred to work collaboratively. I was the visionary and the innovator in the group, and often worked on my ideas for awhile before I brought them to my partners. They would tinker. I would resist. Until it dawned on me, that they were actually making the ideas better. So I started bringing them earlier, before I got attached. That was when the collaboration really began to take flight.
I hear you. I don't know if you feel like this, but I often feel like I want (need?) to polish the idea before I share it with the team. I'm envious of people who can share truly rough ideas. How did you get over the resistance?
LOL. I'm not sure I ever fully got over it. But I paid attention over time to how much better my ideas became when I shared them with others and let go of defending them. The real enemy here is attachment. As long as I could stay unattached to things having to look exactly as I envisioned them, then I could open up to new and better ideas. It's tricky, because you have to understand what is core to your idea and be prepared to ensure that doesn't get compromised, while being completely open to the details.
I’m definitely a loner at least initially. Also I’m a pioneer so usually out front, but with close people right behind me. So I feel supported. Great question!
Oh how interesting! Do you ever feel "self-conscious" being usually out front trying new things?
Yes I used to. Not so much any more. I’m more accepting that I’m a bit different to others, these days!
I love having a friend (an accountability partner) or a community (a fraud squad) at those times when doubt likes to creep in.
I love that "fraud squad" idea. 🤗
I prefer to start on my own, usually to see what I do know and what I don't. That being said, the older I get the more I realize that learning from someone has immense value both from a knowledge and task perspective but also from learning another's perspective.
Hi Bonita! We have a very similar approach. When I left corporate, I jumped into all sorts of "new things" and initially tried to do it all on my own - doing my own research, YouTube, etc. In hindsight, I would have learned much faster - and managed my frustrations better - had I sought help (like from a coach) sooner.
I usually start something new alone but have been fortunate to find others also starting out who become a support team. I started training to walk my first half-marathon 7 years ago and made two friends in the newbie group I joined that I’m happy to say are STILL my friends and walking buddies. Same w pickleball- just joined a beginners group 2 years ago by myself and connected w new people at the same stage of learning that became a new group of friends.
I love your spirit, Sally! I imagine the friends you've made turned the new thing into something you enjoyed and looked forward to doing.
Yes, we were beginners at something together, and bonded over both our “newness” and need to learn and the desire we had to learn. Sometimes with friends who try something new together, we don’t have the same desire to “do the thing” and so some might drop out- which might make us drop out, too?
Ahhhh crap. I missed it. 🫣
I definitely like to start something alone, just for a sec, but then I try to involve EVERYONE and their dogs too.
I see you're going for "the more, the merrier" approach. 😉 LOVE that!
Oh no, I missed the first one! 🙃 My shyness says alone, but I'm sure I'd do better with company. When's the next one?
Hiya Nancy! You're finally here! 🤗 I'm still working out the rhythm, but the plan is to have our Lounge Chats every two weeks - one going out on Sundays and the other on Thursdays. I'm like you; I tend to go it alone, but the few times I've joined a group, it's helped keep my energy and motivation up.
Happy Sunday 👋🏽 Ideally, I would like to start something new with a close friend but with everyone having different and shifting priorities at any given time, I’ve found that joining a group helps maintain my energy and consistency.
Hi Anne! I hear ya! I'm not usually a joiner of things, but when I have done, nothing beats that group energy! How do you do with "challenges"? Too much pressure?