92. Getting Out of the Funk

because sometimes, we fall into a hole, you see...

☕️ the main thing

A recent experience has reminded me of something I already knew but had forgotten, and it caught me off guard: Energy, emotions, and moods are contagious.

Some unwanted energy cozied up and came home with me, unfortunately. As I processed my way out of it, I wrote down some thoughts, and I’m thinking these may be helpful to you as well.

Made this with DALL-E

1. Energy — both positive and negative —  is contagious. Now, if I were going to be an agent of contagion, I would much rather it be of the light, positive persuasions. Unfortunately, studies have shown that the bad vibes are more infectious than the good ones. 😩 I don’t really know why this is the case. Perhaps it has to do with negative energy being heavier and can sink like lead.

2. The people spreading the negative vibes aren’t always aware they are doing so. They probably don’t even know the effect they’re having on other people. We can’t blame them; they’re not doing it on purpose. Not usually, anyway. We also cannot change them. We can try to help them out of their rut, but at the end of the day, they’ll have to want to get out of it themselves. At the same time, though, we don’t have to tolerate it when we know they can have such an effect on our well-being.

3. Venting, I think, must be done with permission. As in, we must ask the other person if it’d be okay with them if we vented for a bit. We can’t just ambush them with our pile of woes. Because we don’t know the other person’s state of mind. They may be going through their own sh*t at the moment and may not be able to accommodate or fend off the shrapnels from our venting.

4. We cannot simply expect others to commiserate with us. A friend once told me he’s not the person to go to for commiserating. He'll be there for me when I’m ready to talk about solutions or to figure the way out of a hole. But not when all I want to do is vent, ruminate, or re-tell the stories confirming I was wronged, things were unfair, etc. I initially thought of this as a rebuff. But I’ve since recognized the honesty in his statement and the invitation to reach out when I’m ready. I also wish I was brave enough to express those boundaries for myself.

5. Sometimes, despite your efforts to the contrary, you end up absorbing other people’s negative energy. When you find that you’ve taken the bad vibes home with you, the way to get rid of it is through movement. Getting rid of the negative energy requires movement of the body. The more you give in and sit still or lie down, the more the energy settles in. Move. Dance. Run. Walk. Clean the bathtub. Do anything that moves the limbs to break apart the sucky energy.

Also, having a fun friend on speed dial helps tremendously.

🔗 pairings

• “In the long term, we are all gonna die, and nobody will remember that weird thing you said at the party that one time!” Mistakes Were Made |

  Nora McInerny

• “Self-care is self-love. We conflate ‘wellness,’ which has been hijacked into the stratosphere into a cornucopia of products and crap which largely does nothing, with self-care, which is basic, easy, and full of joy.” You and I are Too Old To Think That Self-Care is a Luxury |

  JULIA HUBBEL

👤 a midlifer in profile

At 25, Susan J Tweit was diagnosed with Lupus, an autoimmune condition that is often fatal, along with Raynaud's and Sjogren's (dry mouth syndrome), and was so ill that her prognosis was 3 to 5 years.

“My 25-year-old self would be very surprised and pleased to know that I figured out how to modify my life to live with my particular health. I am now 67 years old and quite healthy, all things considered.”

Read her profile here.

Meet Gen Jones’er Susan J Tweit

💭 muse

“There are many ways to calm a negative energy without suppressing or fighting it. You recognize it, you smile to it, and you invite something nicer to come up and replace it; you read some inspiring words, you listen to a piece of beautiful music, you go somewhere in nature, or you do some walking meditation.”
— Nhat Hanh

💬 last word

I knew that getting back to my writing desk — and working on this newsletter specifically — would get me out of the funk.

Mission accomplished.

Thank you for being here, my reader friend.

Here’s to a joyful week ahead.

Cool Beans,
Lou Blaser