the end, the beginning

embracing the end of one chapter

Conversations about learning, becoming, and building a coherent life.

Hello,

I suppose there comes a time in the life of a project when the end arrives, or maybe, the end of its current incarnation.

I’ve been struggling with this idea for a while now. A part of me resists accepting that I’ve reached the end of a creative project, THIS writing project in particular. It’s not a problem with letting go — I do that all the time. But the thought of letting this one go sticks in my throat.

I think it’s because this project means something more for me, represents an ideal, a kind of response to a calling. And if I were to say that it’s run its course, what would it mean about my ability to respond to that calling? Does it mean I failed? Or that the calling no longer exists?

A few weeks ago, I wrote about not knowing what’s next and lingering in the in-between hallways. That’s exactly where I’ve been lately: stuck in the hallway staring at doorknobs and various doors. Which way do I go next?

This writing project (no matter what it was originally called or what platform it was hosted on) began at a time of huge change and transition for me.

I had just left my corporate life — my career — and was reinventing myself in more ways than one. I had stumbled upon Stoicism and was beginning to embrace a new way of thinking and being. I was also, for the first time, fully realizing and embracing the idea that I am, excuse me, a midlifer! I was full of questions, dread too. But also, wonder and hope and ideals of and for myself. Who do you want to be in this next chapter of your life, Lou?

Around the same time, I also started a podcast called Second Breaks and was super excited about the prospect of talking with people who were reinventing themselves in midlife, and learning from them, being inspired by them, and in the process, shaping my life.

Looking back, I can see how these projects helped me, grounded me, challenged me, and influenced how I show up in the world today. I’ve met lots of wonderful, inspiring people, some of whom have become friends I now text regularly. My life is definitely richer because of these projects.

But... yeah, I think these projects, they’ve run their course, and I must move on.

• • • 

In chatting with a couple of writer friends recently, I’ve come to realize something: I do not want to stop writing. That calling remains, and it’s one I want to continue to respond to.

The question is, what do I care to write about now? What would I want to share and publish? What record would I like to keep?

That last question, the moment it was raised, stayed with me for a long time. It resonated so deeply, even though I was stumped and couldn’t answer. What record of my life would I like to keep? When I am old and gray and have lost all my teeth, what would I fondly review and marvel at... “look what I’ve created.”

I feel the pull to record the shaping of my life. Not in the context of reinvention or getting older, though. I’m very much inspired by the American philosopher and psychologist William James, and his writings on how our experiences and our lives are shaped by what we attend to. In this noisy, busy, and crazy world, the things we choose to pay attention to shape us.

“My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those items which I notice shape my mind.” — William James

I love that quote. It’s like an entire philosophy for life in a nutshell.

I want to live it, and I’m curious about how a life is shaped intentionally through attention, reading, experience, and conversations. And I’m thinking this is the thrust of what I’d like to explore in my writing going forward.

• • • 

Can I tell you, I was chuffed when I came up with the name “We’re All Getting Older”. It was for me a cheeky reminder and a call to action and a subtle reference to Memento Mori, without mentioning the mori part. 😉

But it feels I’ve outgrown that name, too. Often, that name now brings up a kind of block for me because what I feel like exploring doesn’t seem to align with the expectations the name carries. I know, I know, it’s just a name, and yet...

So, I’ve decided that while I’m not going to shut down this writing project, I will rename it to reflect its transition to something else. What’s the new name, you ask? Still figuring that one out! I’m hoping the next time I write to you, it’ll come under a new banner name!

I realize many of you, especially those who’ve been with me for years, subscribed when I was writing about reinvention and midlifing and embracing aging. Thank you for sticking with me through the years as I mucked my way through.

I hope you’ll stay with me in this new chapter and we’ll figure it out together. But if you do decide it’s time to say sayonara, I totally understand and wish you all the best.

I’m going to take a short break: I’m traveling again and will be out of pocket for a few weeks. But I also want to take a representative breather to mark the end of a chapter and the beginning of one... at least in my head and heart.

Talk soon,
Lou Blaser

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Lou Blaser writes about learning, becoming, and building a coherent life. She also curates and maintains The Filtered, a digital library for reading, learning, and thinking better.

🏷 Becoming