91. What reinventing ourselves really is (and isn't)
it's never a start-a-start-over-from-scratch scenario.
☕️ the main thing
Hunting around for something to watch the other day, I discovered that an old favorite was now streaming on Netflix. Jackpot. Ignored was the long list of new and unwatched shows on my list. I settled in to hang out with these familiar characters for old times’ sake.
Ostensibly, Royal Pains1 is a series that follows Hank Lawson, an unfairly discredited but brilliant diagnostic surgeon, who ends up moving to the Hamptons with his brother, where he works as a concierge doctor to the uber-rich and ultra-elite.
But that’s not really what it’s all about.
Royal Pains is a story about two brothers who picked themselves up from a down-on-their-luck state of affairs and reinvented themselves elsewhere.
Fortunately for them, one of the brothers was braver than the other, more willing to take risks and try new things. Without him, the other one might have just parked himself indefinitely in front of the TV, depressed, cursing his lot, and drowning in his sorrows.
Together and propped up by each other, they packed their bags (literally and figuratively), dared to believe something else was possible, and created a new life for themselves.
They leaned on their existing expertise to start over.
The doctor didn’t transform into a chef overnight. The CPA didn’t suddenly turn himself into an artist. They remained as doctor and CPA, transplanted into a new environment, adjusting how they applied themselves to fit in their new space.
They held on to parts of themselves they loved while working on the parts they didn’t. They stayed guided by personal values (Hank’s “Patients before money always”) while slowly opening to different realities (The uber-rich really have a totally different view of things!)
They became different people and yet remained true to themselves.
For sure, there were plenty of ridiculous situations (seriously, Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz as a landlord?), not to mention the suspend-your-disbelief concierge doctor who moonlit as MacGyver.
Still, I think the show — beyond its that-will-never-happen medical storylines —is actually an entertaining mural of how reinventing ourselves really works.
Reinventing ourselves is never a start-over-from-scratch scenario.
It’s always a meet-ourselves-where-we-are-with-what-we’ve-got and go from there. It’s not becoming someone else overnight but a gradual, imperceptible change toward the person we want to be. It’s not discarding everything but holding on tightly to what’s important. It’s not a heroic, go-it-alone strategy but an openness to lean on others to accompany us on an adventure. It’s not one final decision but a continuous revisiting and recommitting.
Also, it’s not easy because doing so goes against our natural tendencies. You need a “little something” to make it happen. I wrote a book about the courage to reinvent ourselves because it does take courage. It’s so much easier to sit the rest of the game out. To remain sheltered in our comfort zones and ignore the calls to leave it. Not to rock the boat and simply coast into the sunset. But where’s the fun in that?
Sure, the Lawson brothers got lucky in the Hamptons. But that luck wouldn’t have found them had they stayed in Brooklyn.
🔗 pairings
“So often, I feel like I beat myself up for wasting time or not making the things that matter a priority. But the reality is that I don’t need more efficiency. I need more bravery.” How To Be Brave
“People who don’t know where to start are often perfectionists. It’s an honorable problem: you’re doing nothing not because you’re lazy but because you’re very ambitious.” How To Dare To Begin
📖 bookish
Radiant Rebellion: Reclaim Aging, Practice Joy, and Raise a Little Hell
by Karen Walrond
This book has been recommended to me by a few people already. I finally relented and picked it up. Just delicious. I just started reading it, but already, I want to pass it along and recommend it to everybody! The sub-title says it all.
🎙 what’s playing
The One About Change, Getting Older, The Things We Can — and Cannot — Control
On my own on the pod this week. Here’s a short episode with some thoughts about change, plus the Wells Fargo wagon. 😉
💭 muse
“Just because others can’t see the results doesn’t mean you’re not getting better. Just because someone is ahead of you doesn’t mean you are on the wrong trajectory. Just because there is no applause doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path. Just because no one notices doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. The biggest obstacles are internal.” — Shane Parrish, author of Clear Thinking
🍹 reader shout-out
Shout out to WAGO reader Yvonne Marchese, who founded the Age Agitators Club. This community brings together women committed to busting through their Midlife Funk to inspire, support, share our stories, and reimagine what’s possible as we grow older. Learn more about The Age Agitators Club.
(Psst: If you’ve got something you’d like for me to give a shout-out to — a project, a podcast, a book, what have you — just hit reply and let me know a bit about it. I’d love to support you!)
💬 last word
Speaking of reinventing ourselves, you may have caught the mini-announcement I made at the beginning of the year that I’ve decided to start a new career as a writer.
Friends immediately responded and said, “But aren’t you already that?” And TBH, my heart swelled when I heard that. The truth is, I needed this extra step to instruct my brain 😊 that “This is official now, Lou” and I’m not dicking around anymore. I had explained it to someone as the difference between saying, “Yeah, I cook,” and “I am a cook.”
Anyhow, suffice it to say, starting a new career “late in life” presents new challenges and stuff. In March, I’m going to start chronicling the behind-the-scenes of this experience — starting a new career — as a segment of WAGO for paid subscribers. If this topic is something you might be interested in, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription. 😉
Okidoki. Here’s to an ease-ful week ahead!
Cool Beans,
Lou Blaser
Royal Pains is an American comedy-drama TV series that aired on the USA Network from 2009 to 2016.
Love the fact you’re starting a book project. It’s a fantasy of mine but also something I have the inkling just might be able to do. Anyway I’ll look forward as you proceed and I hope you don’t mind playing muse to my unformed ambitions.
Loved Royal Pains! To build on what you're saying..I liked it because Hank stuck to his values- from the choice he made that got him fired, to the choices he makes in the Hamptons (despite the wealth that surrounds him) - which was why Boris respected him. Yep - I watched it all ;-)