Your piece beautifully captures the tension between the comfort of familiarity and the disorientation of change. It's so easy to cling to the past, to the people and roles we once knew, but as you point out, that can be a form of self-betrayal. I love the way you frame it – it's not about reconciling with our past selves, but about letting them be. It's about recognizing that change is inevitable, and that the only constant is impermanence. It's about embracing the freedom that comes with letting go of who we were and stepping fully into who we are becoming.
As I read your note, Alex, I realized one thing I didn't consider when I wrote this piece. Sometimes, situations and the people around us make it challenging to embrace the change we're going through — especially when the change is current or still in its infancy. I suppose this is why people who are working to get sober end up leaving old friendships and such behind. To some degree, it takes a bit of small (c) courage to stand up and be the person we've become or are becoming. Cheers, Alex!
What a refreshing read. I'm often so aghast at my younger self and how self-centred I was. Your post was a reminder to leave my younger self back there or better still to extend some loving/kindness for being human and fallible and making mistakes that perhaps other people didn't even notice or have forgotten. I've grown to be much more comfortable with who I am now.
YES! I think there’s so much freedom in just letting our younger selves be — no judgment, just understanding. I’m so glad this resonated with you! Cheers, Lee!
I don't actually know! I meant it when I said that I don't know if they'd get along 😂 Depending on the age of my younger self, she would either be shocked, confused, wondering, or disbelieving. I do know the kid Lou, who loved to read, would be happy I am still, to this day, a bookworm. Cheers, Monica!
Interesting to think about. I don't know if my past and present self could be friends or not, I'm not sure they'd even recognize each other. But I agree, they don't need to, they each had their time and place, and the former helped lead to the latter. I'm much more content with who I am now and that's good enough for me. 😊
I was about to write that one benefit of reaching midlife is getting more comfortable with the person we've become. But that's not universally true, is it? I know some people who are still searching. I'm grateful that, like you, I'm also more content with who I am now. Cheers, Nancy!
Love this Lou. Great hearing about your journey. I spent some time in the Philippines. I traveled to Manila when the Pope was there for World Youth Day in the early 1990s. Also visited a couple times during my Navy career. I loved the food and the people. When I was stationed in San Diego many of our close friends were also from the Philippines and there are of course many close ties with the Navy as lots of Filipinos took advantage of opportunities to serve. All the best!
I didn't think to ask you when we chatted because of course (!) many military men have been in the Philippines at one point or another because of the naval bases. Love to hear we have one more point of connection 😊
I believe, at our core, we have an essence (or soul?) that represents our true self. So who we are doesn’t change but we are influenced by how we have to show up in the world to survive, belong, lead, etc. At my core I’m not different from who God created me to be and as I grow older I’m having more compassion for my younger self because I understand more about who I am and my circumstances back then that I dealt with.
Thanks for sharing this, Lou. I’m currently exploring this concept in my fictional writing. It’s a bugger trying to wrap my head around all of it, but it also brings much joy.
Your piece beautifully captures the tension between the comfort of familiarity and the disorientation of change. It's so easy to cling to the past, to the people and roles we once knew, but as you point out, that can be a form of self-betrayal. I love the way you frame it – it's not about reconciling with our past selves, but about letting them be. It's about recognizing that change is inevitable, and that the only constant is impermanence. It's about embracing the freedom that comes with letting go of who we were and stepping fully into who we are becoming.
As I read your note, Alex, I realized one thing I didn't consider when I wrote this piece. Sometimes, situations and the people around us make it challenging to embrace the change we're going through — especially when the change is current or still in its infancy. I suppose this is why people who are working to get sober end up leaving old friendships and such behind. To some degree, it takes a bit of small (c) courage to stand up and be the person we've become or are becoming. Cheers, Alex!
What a refreshing read. I'm often so aghast at my younger self and how self-centred I was. Your post was a reminder to leave my younger self back there or better still to extend some loving/kindness for being human and fallible and making mistakes that perhaps other people didn't even notice or have forgotten. I've grown to be much more comfortable with who I am now.
YES! I think there’s so much freedom in just letting our younger selves be — no judgment, just understanding. I’m so glad this resonated with you! Cheers, Lee!
Oh, my younger self would be horrified at how much I enjoy a quiet evening and how little I care about being "cool."
But also? She’d be in awe. Of the confidence. The freedom. The zero tolerance for nonsense.
We might not be besties, but I’d like to think she’d lean in and whisper, “Damn… we turned out kind of amazing.” 💛
What about you? Would younger you approve?
I don't actually know! I meant it when I said that I don't know if they'd get along 😂 Depending on the age of my younger self, she would either be shocked, confused, wondering, or disbelieving. I do know the kid Lou, who loved to read, would be happy I am still, to this day, a bookworm. Cheers, Monica!
My past self, as I picture her in her late 20s, would look at the life I've made and say, "You did it! What took you so long?"
Haha. Our younger selves can be so impatient! Cheers, Catherine!
beautiful wisdom ❤
Thank you, Tanya!
Interesting to think about. I don't know if my past and present self could be friends or not, I'm not sure they'd even recognize each other. But I agree, they don't need to, they each had their time and place, and the former helped lead to the latter. I'm much more content with who I am now and that's good enough for me. 😊
I was about to write that one benefit of reaching midlife is getting more comfortable with the person we've become. But that's not universally true, is it? I know some people who are still searching. I'm grateful that, like you, I'm also more content with who I am now. Cheers, Nancy!
Love this Lou. Great hearing about your journey. I spent some time in the Philippines. I traveled to Manila when the Pope was there for World Youth Day in the early 1990s. Also visited a couple times during my Navy career. I loved the food and the people. When I was stationed in San Diego many of our close friends were also from the Philippines and there are of course many close ties with the Navy as lots of Filipinos took advantage of opportunities to serve. All the best!
I didn't think to ask you when we chatted because of course (!) many military men have been in the Philippines at one point or another because of the naval bases. Love to hear we have one more point of connection 😊
I believe, at our core, we have an essence (or soul?) that represents our true self. So who we are doesn’t change but we are influenced by how we have to show up in the world to survive, belong, lead, etc. At my core I’m not different from who God created me to be and as I grow older I’m having more compassion for my younger self because I understand more about who I am and my circumstances back then that I dealt with.
Thanks for sharing this, Lou. I’m currently exploring this concept in my fictional writing. It’s a bugger trying to wrap my head around all of it, but it also brings much joy.