First of all, I adore Prince too. He left us far too soon.
Now onto the complaint challenge. I have never heard of this! An interesting concept, and I love that Maya Angelou was the inspiration. I have to say, though, it just doesn’t really land with me. Maybe because it feels a bit punitive to be tracking complaints and then trying to squash them in ourselves. The oppositional aspect of me would rebel against this!
I almost always find it more useful to work the other way around, so in this case, I might note when complaints are arising in me and then invite myself to see if I could find something in the situation that I’m actually grateful for. Kind of like using the complaint as a mindfulness bell. Also not easy, but to me that feels like it’s coming from more generative energy. I’m curious to try this, thanks for sharing this idea!
I hear you Maia. My initial 7-day experiment gave me interesting insights on what triggers my complaints, and how they "sound like" in my head 😂. TBH, I don't know that it helped me become more grateful - which was my original hypothesis for doing the experiment. But it definitely helped me become aware of the times I'm giving energy to things I cannot control (which is where most of my complaints during the experiment came from). I could almost hear Maya Angelou saying, "if you can't change it, change your attitude, Lou".
Maya Angelou has a way of doing that!!! What a presence she had (and still has). I actually got to meet her once, a very long time ago. I was in college in Stockton, CA, at the time and she was giving a reading there. It was before she was super famous, at that time I think she'd only written I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. I still remember her, before the reading began, walking through the crowd in the auditorium, and she came straight to me and shook my hand, looked right into my eyes. I don't even remember what she said, but it was powerful!
Wow, what a precious experience that was! I used to have a client that took me to Winston Salam, NC (where Angelou lived) every week for a year and the car service who picked me up at the airport on Monday mornings happened to drive her too sometimes. He said she's one of the nicest people in town, most gracious, and had such an energy about her.
She talks about listing the good stuff that happens in your day. I started it a couple of weeks ago and it is amazing how much good stuff was in my life every day. Little things like a a good night sleep, a satisfying meal or a chat with my dad. It has certainly refocussed my attention away from negative, complaints, anxiety and towards gratitude.
I love that there are many different paths to get us to our "best version" of ourselves. I'm a big fan of acknowledging our many blessings. Thanks for the link to her Susan's article too, Robyn!
Loved this! I need to do less but folks love the story aspect of complaint. The Iliad and Odyssey and also the Aeneid are filled with heroes both gods, goddesses , men, and women who complain, and complaint runs the epics! LOL! But I do get what you mean!
“A man who has been through bitter experiences and travelled far enjoys even his sufferings after a time” ― Homer, The Odyssey
Wow, I love this idea Lou. I complain wayyyy too much and I'm sure it has a negative effect on the people around me. I used to complain a ton in my writing as well back in the day. Trying to get over that. Nobody likes someone who brings the whole energy of the room down a notch.
Someone I'm very close to complains a lot. And there are times when after spending a day with her, I come home feeling soo tired and drained. I don't want her out of my life, so I need to do a better job "protecting" my energy. I might also give her the book as a gift. 😂 I'm cheering you on Thomas!
Must be confrontational, I can't imagine people stop complaining about the weather! That's the first thing everybody always does. It's either too hot or too cold, too sunny or too rainy 😂
That's actually one of the examples in Will Bowen's book. The difference between stating a fact ("It's so hot outside.") and the whiny, complaining voice (Ugh, it's sooo hot outside, it's awful, my hair's all frizzy, etc.). LOL
We are too easy to complain and too blind to our blessings. I, for one, sometimes even find myself enjoying complaining lol! Thanks for introducing this great idea Lou! I am going to make (or find) myself a purple bracelet and start with a 7-day challenge, like you did! :)
Oh, I know what you mean about enjoying complaining. One of my girlfriends and I can spend an entire afternoon complaining about whatever. 😊 Suffice it to say, I stayed away from her during my 7-day challenge. 😭
You and I both have been living under the rock because I haven't heard about this either. 😂 In any case, good luck with this insane idea. This sounds good if you are retired or don't work. I'm a teacher and I can't imagine being able to do this, which probably means, I need to do it.
LOL. There's actually an example in the book where someone said to Will Bowen that they will start the challenge when they have less to complain about. And Bowen said that's like saying, I will go to the gym when I'm fit. 😉 But I totally hear you! This would be an EVEN HARDER challenge if I was still in consulting dealing with frustrating clients. 😂
Don't get me wrong, I do love the idea. I think it would be fun to do with my husband or with a group, so we can cheer and jeer each other one. Hahaha. Thanks, Lou.
Totally! Actually, one reader DM'd me and asked if we could be accountability partners. Woot! For a New York minute I fantasized on starting an open thread but then got promptly scared. 🤠 BTW, I meant to tell you - I saw in some forum (can't remember which one anymore) that you are in Asia right now? Me too! I sort of split my time between the US and the Philippines.
First of all, I adore Prince too. He left us far too soon.
Now onto the complaint challenge. I have never heard of this! An interesting concept, and I love that Maya Angelou was the inspiration. I have to say, though, it just doesn’t really land with me. Maybe because it feels a bit punitive to be tracking complaints and then trying to squash them in ourselves. The oppositional aspect of me would rebel against this!
I almost always find it more useful to work the other way around, so in this case, I might note when complaints are arising in me and then invite myself to see if I could find something in the situation that I’m actually grateful for. Kind of like using the complaint as a mindfulness bell. Also not easy, but to me that feels like it’s coming from more generative energy. I’m curious to try this, thanks for sharing this idea!
I hear you Maia. My initial 7-day experiment gave me interesting insights on what triggers my complaints, and how they "sound like" in my head 😂. TBH, I don't know that it helped me become more grateful - which was my original hypothesis for doing the experiment. But it definitely helped me become aware of the times I'm giving energy to things I cannot control (which is where most of my complaints during the experiment came from). I could almost hear Maya Angelou saying, "if you can't change it, change your attitude, Lou".
Maya Angelou has a way of doing that!!! What a presence she had (and still has). I actually got to meet her once, a very long time ago. I was in college in Stockton, CA, at the time and she was giving a reading there. It was before she was super famous, at that time I think she'd only written I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. I still remember her, before the reading began, walking through the crowd in the auditorium, and she came straight to me and shook my hand, looked right into my eyes. I don't even remember what she said, but it was powerful!
Wow, what a precious experience that was! I used to have a client that took me to Winston Salam, NC (where Angelou lived) every week for a year and the car service who picked me up at the airport on Monday mornings happened to drive her too sometimes. He said she's one of the nicest people in town, most gracious, and had such an energy about her.
I agree Maia. It is a great idea but a bit punitive. I was recently attracted to a post by Susan Abel https://sgsabel.substack.com/p/exactly-what-is-the-good-stuff
She talks about listing the good stuff that happens in your day. I started it a couple of weeks ago and it is amazing how much good stuff was in my life every day. Little things like a a good night sleep, a satisfying meal or a chat with my dad. It has certainly refocussed my attention away from negative, complaints, anxiety and towards gratitude.
I love that there are many different paths to get us to our "best version" of ourselves. I'm a big fan of acknowledging our many blessings. Thanks for the link to her Susan's article too, Robyn!
Loved this! I need to do less but folks love the story aspect of complaint. The Iliad and Odyssey and also the Aeneid are filled with heroes both gods, goddesses , men, and women who complain, and complaint runs the epics! LOL! But I do get what you mean!
“A man who has been through bitter experiences and travelled far enjoys even his sufferings after a time” ― Homer, The Odyssey
I hear you! But do we really want all that epic drama in our lives? 😂
Wow, I love this idea Lou. I complain wayyyy too much and I'm sure it has a negative effect on the people around me. I used to complain a ton in my writing as well back in the day. Trying to get over that. Nobody likes someone who brings the whole energy of the room down a notch.
Someone I'm very close to complains a lot. And there are times when after spending a day with her, I come home feeling soo tired and drained. I don't want her out of my life, so I need to do a better job "protecting" my energy. I might also give her the book as a gift. 😂 I'm cheering you on Thomas!
I never heard about this challenge either, haha 😛
Must be confrontational, I can't imagine people stop complaining about the weather! That's the first thing everybody always does. It's either too hot or too cold, too sunny or too rainy 😂
That's actually one of the examples in Will Bowen's book. The difference between stating a fact ("It's so hot outside.") and the whiny, complaining voice (Ugh, it's sooo hot outside, it's awful, my hair's all frizzy, etc.). LOL
We are too easy to complain and too blind to our blessings. I, for one, sometimes even find myself enjoying complaining lol! Thanks for introducing this great idea Lou! I am going to make (or find) myself a purple bracelet and start with a 7-day challenge, like you did! :)
Oh, I know what you mean about enjoying complaining. One of my girlfriends and I can spend an entire afternoon complaining about whatever. 😊 Suffice it to say, I stayed away from her during my 7-day challenge. 😭
😆
Thank you! What an incredible world that would be! I'll be reading and doing!
Indeed! Good luck Nancy and keep me posted 😊
You and I both have been living under the rock because I haven't heard about this either. 😂 In any case, good luck with this insane idea. This sounds good if you are retired or don't work. I'm a teacher and I can't imagine being able to do this, which probably means, I need to do it.
P.S. Prince is forever, xo
LOL. There's actually an example in the book where someone said to Will Bowen that they will start the challenge when they have less to complain about. And Bowen said that's like saying, I will go to the gym when I'm fit. 😉 But I totally hear you! This would be an EVEN HARDER challenge if I was still in consulting dealing with frustrating clients. 😂
Don't get me wrong, I do love the idea. I think it would be fun to do with my husband or with a group, so we can cheer and jeer each other one. Hahaha. Thanks, Lou.
Totally! Actually, one reader DM'd me and asked if we could be accountability partners. Woot! For a New York minute I fantasized on starting an open thread but then got promptly scared. 🤠 BTW, I meant to tell you - I saw in some forum (can't remember which one anymore) that you are in Asia right now? Me too! I sort of split my time between the US and the Philippines.
Oh, cool. I'd love to talk about that sometime. 😍