"You can reinvent yourself over and over until you are fully aligned and living the life you want."

a Midlifer in Profile: Shawn Fink

a Midlifer in Profile is a bi-weekly segment of We’re All Getting Older, a newsletter focused on helping us live the best version of ourselves in the second half of our lives.

Shawn Fink | Braving YES is a mother, a wife, and a business owner. She has been working independently for 12 years and is currently a business strategist, leadership consultant, and coach to small business owners and teams.

Shawn says she is a misfit in many areas of her life: traditional careers, family values, religion, and spirituality. She is married with twin daughters, and is so looking forward to becoming an empty nester. When she’s not strategizing how to solve all the world’s problems, you’ll likely find her reading a novel, escaping our real-world problems.

Shawn lives with her family in York, PA, USA. Learn more about Shawn through her Substack, Braving YES.

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IN WHICH GENERATION DO YOU BELONG?

Gen X: 1965 - 1980

DO YOU WORK? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

I’m a business strategist, leadership consultant, and coach. I am so lucky to work less than 25 hours a week doing nothing but everything I love (except bookkeeping; I don’t like that.) I am also the mom of twin daughters who just became young adults; I’m learning how to affect change through them without micromanaging.

WHAT WOULD THE 25-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOU THINK OF YOU TODAY? HOW ARE YOU MOST DIFFERENT FROM HER?

She would be proud and shocked to realize that we — she and I — were ambitious enough to go for it all and make it all happen: the marriage, the kids, the career, the business, and the books we've written. She would also be shocked that I went from journalism to business strategy. She would shake her head at the idea of me doing anything “sales-related” since that was definitely not taught in journalism school.

WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED ABOUT YOU?

I’m still as obsessed with writing and reading. I hope I’m writing on my deathbed.

GOOD OR BAD, WHAT ABOUT MIDLIFE HAS SURPRISED YOU SO FAR?

I think I’m most surprised by how suddenly everyone you know is going through the same things: turning 50, health concerns, waiting in lines for prescriptions, wrinkles, trying to be healthier and stronger, grey hair, graduating kids, perimenopause, etc. While I did not apply to be in this club, it is a club where we all can vent about the way life is changing, the way we are changing. It’s nice to have that shared experience.

WHAT ONE HABIT ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING ON THESE DAYS?

Getting stronger in mind, body, and spirit. We’re going through a lot of changes in our lives right now, and I'm determined to feel strong through them all. I’ve been strength training at the gym for a year, and I’m definitely a lot stronger, but I have more work to do. I’m also working on strengthening my mind and spirit so that I can be resilient when the rough patches hit because there are many of those yet to come.

WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHRASE ‘FULFILLING LIFE’. HOW HAS YOUR PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THIS CHANGED AS YOU GOT OLDER?

To me, a fulfilling life means being able to make courageous decisions to be in complete alignment with your values, beliefs, and desires. Because I have been my own boss for 12 years full-time, I have led a very fulfilling life — nothing but making my life my own and working on my terms. I can speak up without worry or fear of my colleagues — which is just my dog — getting upset with me. Being able to live and be fully myself is the most fulfilling way to live.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT THESE DAYS?

An empty nest! I know it’s not forever, but I am a HUGE fan of solitude. Well, I used to be. I haven’t had real solitude for any length of time since February 2020. I’m so excited to see what evolves for me, for my house and marriage, my writing and creativity, and for my business with new blocks of time that are all mine. ALL MINE! I’m also very excited to support my twin daughters as they experience college and build their fulfilling lives. It’s all new beginnings for all of us. Hard. Scary. Exciting.

IF YOU COULD GIVE SOME WORDS OF WISDOM TO SOMEONE 20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU, WHAT MIGHT IT BE?

You mean my daughters? They will tell you they are sick of me telling them anything. But, truly, you get to make it all up as you go. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You can reinvent and reinvent and reinvent yourself over and over until you are fully aligned and living the life you want. I reinvented several times, each time getting closer to who I truly am at my core. Every phase and identity led me to this moment.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER/BAND GROWING UP?

When I think about music from my past, I think less of bands/singers and say YES to all 80s music, baby.

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