"Sometimes, doing more involves letting go, taking a pause, unlearning, and slowing down."
a Midlifer in Profile: Madhuri Roy
a Midlifer in Profile is a bi-weekly segment of We’re All Getting Older, a newsletter focused on helping us live the best version of ourselves in the second half of our lives.
Madhuri Roy, mother to two young adults, has been married for 26 years to her college mate. Her husband isn’t the only long-term relationship in her life. In fact, most of her close friends have known Madhuri for decades. Her closest friends will describe her as a fierce competitor who is loyal and trustworthy. Madhuri loves reading, writing, sketching, and spending time with her family. A technologist at heart, she uses curiosity and persistence as her anchors.
Madhuri resides in Tampa, Florida. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.
IN WHICH GENERATION DO YOU BELONG?
Gen X: 1965 - 1980
DO YOU WORK? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?
Yes. I work at PwC in Risk Management.
WHAT WOULD THE 25-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOU THINK OF YOU TODAY? HOW ARE YOU MOST DIFFERENT FROM HIM OR HER?
My 25-year-old self would be very surprised that I did not take as much risk as I could have and let imposter syndrome impact me. I have since learned that not taking risks is the biggest risk in life. Slowly but steadily, I am working to get back to taking more risks, albeit ‘measured decisions.’
WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED ABOUT YOU?
I am always looking to find the next hurdle that I need to get over. Over the years, I have realized that getting over the hurdle does not always require doing more, being quicker, or faster. Sometimes, doing more involves letting go, taking a pause, unlearning, and slowing down. As one of my mentors would say, “Remember to live a little every day.”
GOOD OR BAD, WHAT ABOUT MIDLIFE HAS SURPRISED YOU SO FAR?
Midlife has brought with it a whole new lens which has offered me an opportunity to look at life in a different light. The change has been gradual and shaped by my experiences. Armed with curiosity and persistence, I am questioning more than ever. In addition, I am more focused than ever on doing things that make me happy. For a long time, I equated economic success as the sole indicator of prosperity. Midlife has thrown happiness or pursuit of happiness as a strong contributor to the measure of prosperity.
WHAT ONE HABIT ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING ON THESE DAYS?
I am actively working on unlearning a few habits and beliefs that do not serve me anymore in order to make room for things that matter to me.
WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHRASE ‘FULFILLING LIFE’. HOW HAS YOUR PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THIS CHANGED AS YOU GOT OLDER?
I have gone from doing and achieving what was expected of me to doing what I want to do. This includes taking the risks that I want to — even if it does not make sense to the people around me. A few life-altering experiences have knocked some sense into me and taught me that life is not about playing safe and walking on paved roads. Sometimes, we have to take chances and build pathways where none exists. How else will you know what you are capable of?
WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT THESE DAYS?
I am excited that I have taken up writing again. Growing up, I wanted to be an author. I have finally decided to get out of my way and start writing for a few minutes every day.
IF YOU COULD GIVE A 20-YEAR-OLD PERSON SOME WORDS OF WISDOM OR PIECE OF ADVICE, WHAT MIGHT IT BE?
I would nudge them to follow their passion, take risks, support one another, and, most importantly, HAVE FUN!
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER/BAND GROWING UP?
I grew up listening to Indian contemporary music.
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