"I'm fulfilled by a slower approach to being."

In Profile: Nicole Giordano

In Profile is a monthly segment of We’re All Getting Older, where we meet real people navigating life with intention, delight, and just enough mess to keep things interesting.

If Nicole Giordano’s life has a theme, it might be movement.

Nicole has lived in New York, Singapore, and Thailand, currently calls Philadelphia home, and spends part of each winter in Spain. She and her partner have visited more than forty countries together and still try to add two new ones each year. Along the way, she’s built a career as a creative entrepreneur, running her own businesses for nearly two decades. Most recently, she launched The Midlife Creative Studio, a new venture focused on creative practice for people in midlife and beyond.

When she’s not building companies or planning the next trip, Nicole is usually reading — or lately, writing essays of her own about identity, creativity, and the emotional landscape of midlife.

IN WHICH GENERATION DO YOU BELONG?

Gen X: 1965 - 1980

DO YOU WORK? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

I have been self-employed for almost 20 years. My company is called StartUp FASHION. We support independent fashion designers in building and growing businesses, doing something they love. Recently, I launched my new company, The Midlife Creative Studio. We offer online art and craft classes for those of us in midlife and beyond who see having a creative practice as an important part of our emotional well-being. It’s very new, and I’m excited about all the ideas I have to build this new company.

WHAT WOULD THE 25-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOU THINK OF YOU TODAY? HOW ARE YOU MOST DIFFERENT FROM HER?

I think she would be delightfully surprised that I have been able to travel and live abroad as much as I have. Not because she didn’t dream of it, but because growing up with modest means made it difficult to picture the possibility. I remember being in my early twenties and meeting a thirty-something woman who was selling everything in her apartment, except her books and clothes, because she and her husband were moving to Europe. I was in awe.

I’d say that the biggest difference is that I no longer start with all the reasons something won’t work, and instead focus first on all the reasons something will work. When things inevitably don't work out exactly as I planned, I adjust and keep going. That wasn't me 20 years ago.

LB: I love this approach so much — starting with all the reasons it will work. How often do we sabotage our own dreams and goals by listing all the reasons it won’t work?

WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED ABOUT YOU?

My independence, love of change, and creative entrepreneurship. I have been saying since I was a teenager that I “would” work for myself, even if I didn’t have any idea what that would look like.

GOOD OR BAD, WHAT ABOUT YOUR STAGE IN LIFE HAS SURPRISED YOU SO FAR?

One of the big surprises for me has been how up and down this stage of life is. There are two prevalent messages for what midlife is “all about”, especially for women. You’re either lost and struggling to figure out who you are now. Or you’re taking the world by storm, midlife super power, giving zero fucks. But this has not been my experience. For me, I wobble between these two identities, from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. It’s a rollercoaster. I don’t think that’s talked about enough.

WHAT’S ONE THING YOU THOUGHT FOR SURE YOU’D HAVE FIGURED OUT BY NOW, BUT HAVEN’T YET?

I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but I truly cannot think of an answer to this question. It is part of my personality to decide on what I want, then figure out how to make it happen.

WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHRASE ‘FULFILLING LIFE’? HOW HAS YOUR PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THIS CHANGED AS YOU GOT OLDER?

I love this question because — and I’m not exactly sure how — but I have, for a very long time, known that success (or fulfillment) is a relative term and everybody gets to define what that is for themselves.

For me, it has always been about being able to lead a flexible life — my time is my own. Because life flies by really quickly.

Working for yourself is not easy; it takes discipline and focus and sacrifice. I knew that building a business that didn’t require me to be in one place, where I wasn't answering to investors or a board or a boss, where I made my schedule, was my version of professional success. Financially, I just wanted to make enough to lead the life I wanted to lead, which was a lot of travel, great food, and a cozy home in the heart of a city.

For personal fulfillment, it’s been about time. Having time with my partner, with my friends, with my family, and for my hobbies. I feel fulfilled every day when I wake up and get to do an hour-long morning routine without having to rush out the door. I feel fulfilled when my partner and I spend an evening having a delicious meal together, whether cooked by us or at one of our favorite spots. I feel fulfilled when I can drive to see my family on a random weekday or plan an evening with my best friends (p.s., midlife sleepovers with your besties is FANTASTIC!); when I spend long periods of time reading a wonderful book or a Sunday afternoon writing.

I’m fulfilled by a slower approach to being, which doesn’t mean I don’t have goals, just that I accomplish them my way.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT THESE DAYS?

The Midlife Creative Studio! There is nothing like the early days of building a business when you're excited about all the possibilities and having fun figuring things out, and not yet thinking about all the roadblocks that are part of the journey. LOL.

IF YOU COULD GIVE SOME WORDS OF WISDOM TO SOMEONE 20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU, WHAT MIGHT IT BE?

Prioritize travel. See the world. Experience other cultures. Understand that there’s so much out there besides your own existence. I think the world would be a much more loving and beautiful place if more people did this.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER/BAND GROWING UP?

There wasn’t one favorite. Even though I grew up in the eighties and nineties, because of my parents, I loved everything from The Beatles to Janis Joplin to The Temptations to The Doobie Brothers.

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Lou Blaser writes We’re All Getting Older, an essay series about change, meaning, and the lives we’re unfolding. She also maintains The Filtered, a digital library for reading, learning, and thinking better.