"The 25-year-old me would be happy I've made some impossible dreams come true."

a Midlifer in Profile: Maia Duerr

a Midlifer in Profile is a bi-weekly segment of We’re All Getting Older, a newsletter focused on helping us live the best version of ourselves in the second half of our lives.

Maia Duerr

calls herself a gregarious introvert. She needs time alone to recharge but truly loves people! (I think many of us can relate.)

Maia’s frequent companion nowadays is Lucy, a rescue dog that came into her life nearly 15 years ago. She loves traveling, and some of her most memorable journeys have taken her to Bali, Tibet, and Thailand (though not accompanied by Lucy!). Maia is a practicing Buddhist — has been for almost 30 years — and sharing meditation and mindfulness with others has been a source of nourishment for her.

In her early 60s, Maia feels that she’s at the point in life where she’s appreciating how much she’s done and accomplished. She realizes that her time on this planet is limited, and she’s looking forward to what’s ahead.

Maia (and Lucy) lives in Española, New Mexico, U.S.A. You can reach her via her publication, The Practice of Life.

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IN WHICH GENERATION DO YOU BELONG?

Gen Jones: 1955 - 1964

DO YOU WORK? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

For the past 15 years, I've had my own small business, offering consulting and writing services primarily to nonprofit organizations. I've also led meditation retreats and workshops and love to create opportunities for transformative learning.

WHAT WOULD THE 25-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOU THINK OF YOU TODAY? HOW ARE YOU MOST DIFFERENT FROM HER?

I think she'd be impressed by how I've freed myself from many fears that used to limit her way of being in the world. At 25, I really had very few skills or practices in self-awareness. As a result, I made a lot of life choices from an unconscious place, and most of them backfired quite badly! 25-year-old me would be happy and relieved to see where I've landed and how I've been able to make some impossible dreams come true.

WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED ABOUT YOU?

Hmmmm. I think what's the same are my core passions and intentions. I've always loved the sense of journey and discovery that comes with travel. I write to express myself, and I hold the intention to leave my little corner of the world better than I found it.

GOOD OR BAD, WHAT ABOUT MIDLIFE HAS SURPRISED YOU SO FAR?

I've been pleasantly surprised that as the years go by, I give less and less of a hoot about what people think about me. The need for approval has dissolved to almost nothing, thank goodness!

WHAT ONE HABIT ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING ON THESE DAYS?

Consistency in taking long walks three times a week. I'm becoming more aware of the health challenges that arise in my body (all of our bodies!) if I don't take care of it, so I'm aspiring to get better in that area.

WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHRASE ‘FULFILLING LIFE’. HOW HAS YOUR PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THIS CHANGED AS YOU GOT OLDER?

To me, a fulfilling life is one where I feel a sense of connection to something larger than myself and where I have a clear purpose that I am expressing through my work (defined in the most expansive way). I'm much more clear about these criteria for a fulfilling life now than I was in my younger years; as a result, life is more fulfilling.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT THESE DAYS?

I'm working on a memoir, tracing the story of how I brought my aging parents from their longtime home in Southern California to live near me in New Mexico. There were a lot of challenges in that situation, including that both of them were extreme hoarders and didn't want to deal with the reality of getting older and the dangers they were getting in. I got them here just before the pandemic, and then I lost both of them to COVID in January of 2021. Thankfully, there was a lot of healing in my relationships with both of them through that whole process. I am excited to explore all that through writing and, at some point, share it with others.

IF YOU COULD GIVE SOME WORDS OF WISDOM TO SOMEONE 20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU, WHAT MIGHT IT BE?

Oh gosh. I feel like I can't even answer that one. I don't want to presume I have more wisdom than someone 20 years younger than me. Sometimes, the opposite is the case! I would only encourage them to trust themselves and be curious and open to all this world has to offer, even in our darkest times.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER/BAND GROWING UP?

Earth, Wind, & Fire. Without a doubt.

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