Profile: Judy Bigham
A first-generation Filipino-American, Judy Bigham is the oldest of four siblings who were born and raised in Michigan. Judy was raised in a household that very much followed Filipino traditions. Judy says this made some things challenging. "As soon as we step out of the house into the neighborhood with friends or the bus to school, we were in a different culture. Reconciling conflicting values was a daily task."
But despite the constant balancing, Judy feels she is rooted in the Filipino values of family, hospitality, and community. Judy and her husband, Doug, are now empty-nesters. They live in Falmouth, MA, with their 3-yr old cocker spaniel, with their children — all grown up now and with their own families — living just about an hour's drive away. "I'm so blessed my children turned out to be such amazing people and actually enjoy spending time with their parents!" You can connect with Judy Bigham on LinkedIn.
IN WHICH GENERATION DO YOU BELONG?
Gen X: 1965 - 1980
DO YOU WORK? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?
I'm channeling my creative energy into building a business as an online home creator for solopreneurs and small business owners. I love helping people, and if it wasn't website design, I'd have a business in some creative, service-based role. The connections and personal growth that I'm experiencing by building a solo business are the most treasured parts.
HOW ARE YOU MOST DIFFERENT FROM THE 25-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOURSELF? WHAT WOULD THE 25-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOU THINK OF YOU TODAY?
"I never thought of you as a creative, nor an entrepreneur! You don't look as old as I thought you would. You're actually (still) kind of cool, HAHA." At 25, I was a newlywed, happy with my work life, where my co-workers were our friends. I was looking forward to married life, having kids, and building a career. This was a path I had in front of me for the next 25 years. I hadn't thought of life after the kids, or after a career in xxx, except sitting in a rocking chair next to my husband with a view of the water.
WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED ABOUT YOU?
As a first-generation Filipino-American, I grew up trying to balance different, sometimes conflicting, values from two cultures. From a young age, I had to adapt, find my own ways of handling certain situations, and stand apart while trying to fit in and please others. So, while I feel I’ve changed a lot since 25, what will always remain is at my core: adaptability, intuitive problem-solving, and helping to make others happy.
GOOD OR BAD, WHAT ABOUT MIDLIFE HAS SURPRISED YOU SO FAR?
The good: I can enjoy what I've worked hard for and don't have to stay sitting in a rocking chair to do so. I worked my ass off for many years: I did my job of raising the kids, working, and balancing both without permanent damage. It wasn't easy. Now it's my turn. Life is easier and very gratifying because I can prioritize myself. And there's still so much to discover and learn. The bad: parents are aging. I don't mind them needing my help, but they used to be more active, and I miss not being able to do things like travel with them, play sports, etc.
WHAT ONE HABIT ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING ON THESE DAYS?
Quieting thoughts rooted in previous phases of my life: perfectionism, over-achieving, over-thinking. These thoughts keep me from taking action to grow, overcome new challenges, and become a better person.
WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY THESE DAYS AND WHY?
My dog, Ramie. Ramie makes me laugh. I had never had a dog before. He's in the moment. I know when he's super happy by his tail wag, and he's a happy dog. Of course, my core family — when we are together — is the most joyful. I smile inside thinking about it.
WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT THESE DAYS?
Trying new things!
IF YOU COULD GIVE A 20-YEAR-OLD PERSON SOME WORDS OF WISDOM OR PIECE OF ADVICE, WHAT MIGHT IT BE?
Be grateful. Accept all parts of you: the good, the bad, and the past because you're lovable as you are, unconditionally. You have choices in who you become and who you serve.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER/BAND GROWING UP?
OMG. Prince!
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