"You can feel fulfilled without having lived well, and you can live well without feeling fulfilled."
a Midlifer in Profile: Jen Zamzow
a Midlifer in Profile is a bi-weekly segment of We’re All Getting Older, a newsletter focused on helping us live the best version of ourselves in the second half of our lives.
is an adjunct professor, a freelance writer, and a mom. She lives in Grand Rapids, Michigan, with her husband, two boys, and a golden retriever. According to Jen, there’s a LOT of energy in her house!
Jen enjoys golfing, skiing, reading, going to the beach, and PLAYING DRUMS! (Talk about energy!)
You can connect with Jen through her Substack publication, A Well-Lived Life.
IN WHICH GENERATION DO YOU BELONG?
Millenial: 1981 - 1996
DO YOU WORK? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?
I am an adjunct professor of healthcare ethics, a freelance writer, and a mom.
WHAT WOULD THE 25-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOU THINK OF YOU TODAY? HOW ARE YOU MOST DIFFERENT FROM HER?
My 25-year-old self would be surprised by my less-than-traditional career route for an academic philosopher. As a grad student, my career goal was to follow the conventional “successful” career path in philosophy and become a tenured philosophy professor. Instead, I currently teach part-time and write for various non-academic publications, such as The Washington Post, CNBC, Insider, Fortune, Success, Good Housekeeping, Psychology Today, etc.
I don’t know if my younger self would have realized how much my future self would value having the freedom to choose what I teach and what I write about. It’s also given me the time and mental space to start writing a non-academic book. My background in philosophy, cognitive science, and healthcare ethics has given me a unique perspective and approach to life’s big questions. And since I’m not trying to get tenure, I’m not constrained in what I write.
Instead of writing an academic book, I can take what I know and write for everyday people struggling with finding more meaning and joy in life and looking for answers to questions like: How do we live a good life? Why is it SO hard to get ourselves to do things that we know are important? And how can we get better at this?
The flexibility in terms of when and where I work has also been instrumental in being able to care for my kids.
WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED ABOUT YOU?
My general interests have stayed surprisingly consistent over the years. Even as a kid, I was interested in what gives life meaning and why we think and do the things we do. While the specific career path I took was surprising, it’s not surprising that I am thinking and writing about these issues.
GOOD OR BAD, WHAT ABOUT MIDLIFE HAS SURPRISED YOU SO FAR?
When I was young, I thought people generally had things figured out by midlife. It would be easier if we had everything figured out by midlife, but there’s also a benefit to there still being so much to explore and so much room for growth. There’s still a lot of mystery left.
WHAT ONE HABIT ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING ON THESE DAYS?
I’m working on being more consistently active. As I get older, I can feel the difference between days when I am active and moving and days when I’m not. One thing I’ve realized about myself is that I have a hard time sticking with things that are boring. So, I’ve been more intentional about finding activities I enjoy, like skiing and group fitness classes.
WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHRASE ‘FULFILLING LIFE’. HOW HAS YOUR PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THIS CHANGED AS YOU GOT OLDER?
Our modern culture tends to talk about “life fulfillment” and “well-being” in very individualistic and inward-focused terms. But you can feel fulfilled without having lived well, and you can live well without feeling fulfilled. How we feel about our lives is important, but it also matters how we live. Ideally, we’ll have both—we’ll live well and feel good about it. Figuring out how to do both turned out to be harder than I expected.
WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT THESE DAYS?
I am most excited about watching my kids grow and develop.
IF YOU COULD GIVE SOME WORDS OF WISDOM TO SOMEONE 20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU, WHAT MIGHT IT BE?
Here is the advice I recently gave to younger people in Psychology Today: Don’t wait until you feel like a real adult. You might never “feel like a real adult.” And while that sounds terrifying, it’s also freeing. It means you don’t need to wait around for the magical moment when you will feel like an adult to start living like an adult. You can start now. You can learn to take chances, do the work, and be happy without waiting until you “feel ready” or achieve some adult milestone.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER/BAND GROWING UP?
Dave Matthews Band
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