"Life was a checklist, and I was mastering the art of completing my tasks."

In Profile: Bridget Beldan

In Profile is a monthly segment of We’re All Getting Older, where we meet real people navigating life with intention, delight, and just enough mess to keep things interesting.

If you passed Bridget Belden on a morning walk, you’d probably get a cheerful “hello,” right after she’s greeted the birds, the flowers, and the trees. She says she’s edging closer and closer to “that wacky old lady who talks to birds,” or any animal really, and feels compelled to say hi to everyone. Married with two grown kids, Bridget is in that delicious liminal space between chapters: no longer in full go-mode, but definitely not done.

A former coach and self-described growth junkie, she’s now exploring a different kind of transformation. These days, she’s painting, dabbling, dancing, and listening. Listening to music, to her gut, and to the birds, obviously. She’s not entirely sure what comes next, and she’s learning to be okay with that.

Bridget resides in Santa Ana, California. You can find out more about her here.

IN WHICH GENERATION DO YOU BELONG?

Gen X: 1965 - 1980

DO YOU WORK? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

I'm fortunate that I don't have to work, but I find that I do much better when I'm in inquiry, learning, resting, and connecting. I find that when I'm bored, I can more easily slip into negative thinking, so when I feel that edge, I pause to think about what I can do that feels generative. I've been practicing not rating myself on productivity, which is no easy feat!

WHAT WOULD THE 25-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOU THINK OF YOU TODAY? HOW ARE YOU MOST DIFFERENT FROM HER?

She would be blown away. In my 20s, I was so focused on doing the things I should do: going to school, getting a good job, getting married, having kids, etc. Life was a checklist, and I was mastering the art of completing my tasks. That led to an existential crisis in my mid-30s, which is a big part of how I ended up where I am today.

The 59-year-old me is definitely happier than my 25-year-old version, who was forever falling behind and thinking that she was not good enough. Today, I am more confident about who I am, what I value, and what living a fulfilling life really means.

WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED ABOUT YOU?

My love for my family and friends. I have a big heart, and my compassion for myself and others has only grown over time. I think I have always had a strong moral compass, and that continues to strengthen as I age. While I didn't always dare to live in alignment with my values, they were still there, and now they are even more of my guiding light.

GOOD OR BAD, WHAT ABOUT YOUR STAGE IN LIFE HAS SURPRISED YOU SO FAR?

How powerful it is to slow down and be still. So many answers come when we take the time to be quiet and listen to ourselves. The answers are within us, not out there. I am surprised that I can find beauty and joy in the midst of crisis and hard times. I’m surprised by how life continues to reveal what it is we need to learn, and that we are never done.

WHAT ONE HABIT ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING ON THESE DAYS?

I'm not sure it's a habit, but as I contemplate my future, my commitment to my health and aging well continues to strengthen. I've always been committed to my health, but to a certain extent, where it once may have been more focused on how my jeans fit, it's now about how I function (well, and also about the jeans). I don't want to be a burden to my kids — I see so many of my friends who are taking care of their aging parents while also worrying about their kids and working full time. It's a lot to manage, and I don't want my kids to have to worry about their parents on top of everything else.

WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHRASE ‘FULFILLING LIFE’? HOW HAS YOUR PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THIS CHANGED AS YOU GOT OLDER?

It used to mean stuff on a list. Now it means the quality of relationships, choosing to spend time on things that fill me up instead of drain me, taking the time to appreciate and have gratitude for the little things, and not taking anything for granted. Finding joy and love and abundance every day even when I don't feel like it. Really it's about living intentionally.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT THESE DAYS?

Traveling, exploring creatively: writing, painting, drawing(?), living well, nature, dogs, and those damn birds! And what is next for me!

IF YOU COULD GIVE SOME WORDS OF WISDOM TO SOMEONE 20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU, WHAT MIGHT IT BE?

Take the time to explore what makes you, you. Find the things that speak to you, that spark your passion. If you don't know what those are because you've been ignoring them in service to others, take time for yourself and don't listen to those who say it's selfish to do so. It's selfish not to. When you do, you will be a better mom, wife, partner, neighbor, and daughter because of it. It is the most valuable investment you can make.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER/BAND GROWING UP?

I had so many phases! AC/DC, Journey, Eagles, Lynrd Skynrd, Eddie Money, etc. My mom was into Bluegrass and country, so we grew up listening to Willie and Waylon (and the boys). In fact, I'm listening to them now as I write this.

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